Category: Commentary
“I Rage-Bit My Controller”
Adam Sessler encounters an existential crisis when he can’t beat the last level of God of War: Ascension.
Here is his review of the game that caused him so much fear and doubt.
You Don’t Know Physics
A Letter to the Right Youth
If you or someone you know is a young conservative, this letter is from DC Pierson for them.
An excerpt:
The world doesn’t need help being harder. It’s almost insult to the world and the baked-in difficulties it presents for us to structure our societies in an attempt to make it even harder just to be a living, breathing person in this world. Designing the systems that govern our lives to make everyone’s life more, rather than less, difficult is like standing next to a hurricane with a super-soaker just to make absolutely certain that everyone gets wet. We don’t need to elect leaders who promise to ensure that human life is a perpetual life-or-death competition for everyone, young, old, or incredibly old, a “war of all against all.” The world already IS that way, without any help from us.
Please share. It’s not too late and Election Day is just around the corner.
To: Social Media Users
Hello sir/madam,
There is a very important event coming on Tuesday, November 6. Many of you younger users may not give a flying fuck about this, but you should. I know the reasons why; you don’t think your vote matters, you’re only choosing the lesser of two evils, the electoral college is broken, they’re all out to get you. I still have those feelings at times, but I still voted.
Why did I vote? Because not voting gave me George W. Bush in 2000. I’m not going to tell you who to vote for, but when you’re faced with the lesser of two evils, one of them could be much worse.
There are other options available. I know, I saw the ballot. Do some quick research on your smartphone and find out who you would rather elect. Even if it’s for a third party “that has no chance of winning”. Giving a third party candidate even a small percentage can create more legitimacy for larger presidential debates with good candidates. Then we might be able to fix the problematic electoral college. We might have candidates that listen to your needs and not lobbyists. Hell, we could get rid of lobbyists!
Here is why I am calling out to you, social media user. Log into your media of choice, or better yet all that you use, and tell people to vote. You don’t have to tell them anymore than “Go vote!” Use the trending topics and tag all of your “Go vote” posts. Or your completely inane posts. Tag everything and everyone.
Politicians, celebrities, and TV ads can sway some people into voting, but your voice is the best way to sway your friends and family. Simply hearing your reason for voting can be enough. It doesn’t have to be an Earth-shattering revelation. “Because,” worked pretty damn well when we were kids and it still works for plenty of adults.
The only way to change the world is to be the change you wish to see in the world. You have to start somewhere. You have to start some time. What better place than here? What better time than now?
Now go get trending.
Current (male) workers are not-good and exceptions can be made for (good) female workers.
From the transcript:
ROMNEY: We’re going to have to have employers in the new economy, in the economy I’m going to bring to play, that are going to be so anxious to get good workers they’re going to be anxious to hire women.
Let’s start with that First clause: “We’re going to have to have employers in the new economy…”
Logical inference: In the current economy, we don’t have employers, or we have employers but they are going away.
Second clause: in the economy I’m going to bring to play…
Logical inference: The economy is a ball, and Rich Mitt has the best ball, and he’ll let you play with it… if you make him head of the kickball team.
Third clause: [employers] that are going to be so anxious to get good workers…
(His use of “anxious” is troubling. Anxious can be viewed as ambivalent, hesitant, or wary. So I’m going to presume he means excited or enthusiastic.)
Logical inference: The new employers in our new economy will be sick of the current economy’s workers… who are not good. American workers right now ARE TO BLAME FOR THE ECONOMY.
Fourth clause: [employers] are going to be anxious to hire women.
(again, let’s ignore the ready connotation that employers are going to be ambivalent to hire women.)
Logical inference: Balancing anxious employers, good workers, and women, he’s either saying that the employers are so desperate that they’ll even consider hiring women, or that current workers who are to blame for the economy are all men, and no good. Either way, he’s got good workers on one side of the statement and women workers on the other. Women can be good workers, but they sound like the exception.
This is not good. What’s worse is what he said about women in the workplace right before this:
CROWLEY: Governor Romney, pay equity for women?
ROMNEY: Thank you. An important topic, and one which I learned a great deal about, particularly as I was serving as governor of my state, because I had the chance to pull together a cabinet and all the applicants seemed to be men.
A great start!
Well said, Governor. Your record on this is sound.
Unless you read this article from The Boston Phoenix written by David S. Bernstein:
What actually happened was that in 2002 — prior to the election, not even knowing yet whether it would be a Republican or Democratic administration — a bipartisan group of women in Massachusetts formed MassGAP to address the problem of few women in senior leadership positions in state government. There were more than 40 organizations involved with the Massachusetts Women’s Political Caucus (also bipartisan) as the lead sponsor.
They did the research and put together the binder full of women qualified for all the different cabinet positions, agency heads, and authorities and commissions. They presented this binder to Governor Romney when he was elected.
Mitt’s version:
ROMNEY: I went to a number of women’s groups and said, “Can you help us find folks,” and they brought us whole binders full of women.
Sure, he can take credit. Fine. The facts don’t matter. But then he makes it so much worse:
Now one of the reasons I was able to get so many good women to be part of that team was because of our recruiting effort. But number two, because I recognized that if you’re going to have women in the workforce that sometimes you need to be more flexible. My chief of staff, for instance, had two kids that were still in school.
She said, I can’t be here until 7 or 8 o’clock at night. I need to be able to get home at 5 o’clock so I can be there for making dinner for my kids and being with them when they get home from school. So we said fine. Let’s have a flexible schedule so you can have hours that work for you.
His anecdote is fine and in fact it makes him look like a considerate employer. EXCEPT THAT this is exactly what we don’t want in leadership. Women are not an exception. He implies that you don’t NEED women in the workforce. He implies that hiring women comes with an additional risk. This is 1950s sexist glad-handing at its worst. And he said this last night, in 2012.
Working crazy hours should be a decision made by each employee, male or female. He’s peppering this answer about pay equity for women with an anecdote of someone who should not have been the effing chief of staff for a governor. She wants to be home at 5pm? She should be a baker. I DON’T GET HOME AT 5pm, and I don’t do shht at my job.
Here’s old Grandad Romney making room for women even though they have funny schedules and kids and needs that men don’t have. Even though he implied above that the current (mostly male) workforce is people by not-good (male) workers.
Dogmic Log – Stardate… Um, Today*
Today a new podcast is premeiring from the Hardwick empire, Nerdist Industries, entitled “Mission Log”. Nerdist has joined forces with Roddenberry Entertainment to bring discussions and indepth looks at each episode of Star Trek’s numerous incarnations. Each podcast episode will focus on an episode of the series, a total of 726. I didn’t see any mention of the movies, but they have enough to work with for now.
You can either listen to them:
- on your iDevice,
- at Nerdist.com Episode 001 – The Cage,
- or Missionlogpodcast.com Episode 001 – The Cage.
Nerdist Industries produces a number of other podcasts in case this doesn’t fickle your tancy. A personal favorite is Cashing in With TJ Miller.
Now I will boldly go make lunch.
S.W. Hannan’s Top 5
Five is an impossible number. Agreed. There is a bit of solace in adding silly categories to numb the wounds caused by cutting off great pieces of cinema for such arbitrary reason. Here are my five:
5) Rashomon – no offense to Ran or The Seven Samurai, but Ran isn’t quite perfect enough, and I’ve only seen The Seven Samurai twice, and I wouldn’t be able to defend it as carefully as I’d like. But I needed a Kurosawa picture. Enter Rashomon which, like Citizen Kane, weaves a complex narrative so easily, and unforgettably, that the audience is never confused by the style, but rather by the central question of the film: what is the value of truth?
4) Casino – Martin Scorsese is a modern-day tragedian. He is our Aeschylus, our Sophocles. Casino is my favorite of his perfect movies (others include Taxi Driver, Goodfellas, and Raging Bull.)
3) There Will Be Blood – My jaw was open for the entirety of my first viewing of P.T. Anderson’s film. Daniel Plainview is the second most complex, complete, and tragic character in all of cinema (all that I’ve seen, anyway.) Number one is Charles Foster Kane.
2) The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance – I don’t understand why John Ford’s The Searchers (a grossly flawed and uneven picture) takes precedent over his 1963 western tale with James Stewart and John Wayne (or his 1939 John Wayne picture Stagecoach.) The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance is an accessible, honest, and careful question about justice, peace, violence, civility, freedom etc…you name it.
1) The Thin Red Line – “If it can be written or thought it can be filmed.” – Stanley Kubrick. The cinema of Terrence Malick proves that Kubrick was correct. The Thin Red Line is his finest example of scholarly philosophy, an elegant and emotive style, effective and subtle performances, and engrossing characters.
0) Citizen Kane – this light-hearted romp through a post-Reagan Administration Rhode Island pits a young Polish sausage sandwich shop owner against a small-town celebrity street-chalk cartoonist.
Best Movie to Watch at The Music Box
The Third Man – by all rights this deserves a spot in my top 5.
Best Kung-Fu Movie
Drunken Master 2 – while there are more than 5 great Jackie Chan movies, this one is his funniest, and has some of his best fights.
Screw a still image:
Best Comedy
Sean of the Dead – comedies don’t deserve to be separate from drama, but I couldn’t set Sean of the Dead next to any of my top 5, and I couldn’t leave it off entirely, either…
Best Movie to Watch By Yourself
Back to the Future
Can’t Choose Just One
Buster Keaton. The Best.
Five Observations on a Popular TV Show, Based on One Frame from that Show: Batgirl in True Blood
This is a stillframe from a recent episode (I guess?) of True Blood. I don’t watch True Blood, but several things based entirely on the following frame:

1. Batgirl is a major player in True Blood. I did not know that.
2. Her arch-nemesis is also Batgirl, but of a different ethnicity.
3. I’m not sure there’s enough information to determine which one is the “bad” one, as neither is sporting a goatee.
4. The Bathroom has “murals” on the wall. If the Bat-hroom is anything like the Bat-cave, these probably depict great battles from Batgirl’s past.
A. The most famous battle, screen right, depicts Martian Batman (Batmartian, really) defeating Martian Batgirl (Also called Batmartian, strangely) in a battle that is eerily similar to the one between the two Batgirls.
B. Also famous was the time that Black Batgirl got really drunk and hung out by the toilet all night shouting everyone’s secret identities. White Batgirl never forgave her.
5. Black plastic hair bands are really fashionable right now. I used to use one of those to pretend I was Geordi. I can only assume that the women in the picture are fighting over which one of them gets to pretend to be Geordi and which one has to be Troi. Are there any Geordi/Troi episodes? I don’t think that there are. Geordi is probably the most well adjusted member of the crew.
Wii U or Won’t U
That horrible title alone should set off the comment section.
Over the weekend I was meditating over the announcements and events of E3. Watch Dogs still has my mind reeling over the idea that in the near future someone will have the capability to pull out their cellphone and be able to tell if I paid that parking ticket from ’05 or just had it fixed through a bit of personal hacking. What does ‘authenticity‘ in a video game mean? Why do so many people clamor for the over-the-top alpha-male shooters like Gears of War and Call of Honor? Does anyone want a game that teaches you how to dribble a basketball? I think the only thing that will come of that is a lot of noise complaints from neighbors below and parents that have spent years telling kids not to play with balls in the house.
My biggest question after E3 is this; will there be a new Mario Paint with Wii U? The new interface is perfect for it and we don’t have enough YouTube clips like this:
Neil Gaiman’s Commencement Address
Love him or not, this is a good speech.
Neil Gaiman Addresses the University of the Arts Class of 2012 on Vimeo on Vimeo










