Today in Naps

Dan announced today, in a startling turn of events, that if he were to nap he would “sleep all night.”

The announcement came as part of a statement in response to the question, “Do you want to nap?” His full statements on the subject were,

“I don’t think I would.
if I sleep, I’ll sleep all night”

It is unclear whether Dan meant the above statements poetically or literally, and there is at time of press no word as to whether he actually wants to nap.


2 thoughts on “Today in Naps

  1. Breaking News!
    After shunning interview requests, talk show appearances, and photo opportunities, the uncharacteristically reclusive Dan Sutter has finally released a statement regarding his sudden lapse in consciousness:

    “I’m being honest here and I hope you respect my courage because this isn’t easy to go through. But I do know that I have to follow my heart. I never had the intention of hurting anybody and I accept full responsibility for my actions and decisions, and for taking everyone on this journey with me. It just didn’t turn out to be the fairy tale I had so badly hoped for.

    There are also reports that I made millions of dollars off of the napping. These reports are simply not true and it makes me so sad to have to even clarify this. I’m so grateful to everyone who took the time to come to my napping and I’ll be donating the money for all the gifts to the Dream Foundation.”

  2. Having discovered that my comment perplexed even the greatest minds on the internet, I feel obliged to come forth with the truth: I copied and pasted Kim Kardashian’s blog apology concerning her recent news item and replaced the two instances of the word Wedding with Napping. It works beautifully.
    Also, “the Dream Foundation” is entirely hers. I didn’t add that.
    It Works So Well!

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