The Silence of the Turkeys

Scott shared a link from the charmingly obnoxious that lists the worst times to be browsing the web.

In that spirit, I apologize for the derth of posts over the break. With family in town and a party or two each day, there was precious little time to ogle my precious internet. At one point during the relaxing break, I wrote down on paper (!) a link that I wanted to look up later. You see, my smart phone is not that smart. Frequently I’ll see a link on Twitter that piques my interest and I’ll have to wait until I get home to check out the link on my incredibly smart desk top computer. Saturday night when I got home, I logged into Twitter and ‘opened in a new tab’ seven different links that I wanted to read. But check this out: I then went to sleep. I was so exhausted from relaxing and eating real food and drinking way too much adult (scotch) and non-adult (generic pop) beverages that I decided to go to sleep and reserve the tabs for the morning. The tale continues: I only got through about four of them in the morning before the next thing-that-was-taking-place-instead-of-reading-the-internet.

How lame is that? I’m not complaining about having a life, I’m highlighting how easy it is to be happy without the internet. And that’s not a popular opinion. To be fair, if I had a super smart phone, I’d be all over the internet constantly, like a deer on salt, so it’s for the best that the proverbial salt-lick is just out of tongue-shot.

Back to Cracked, those wily bastards… No one’s doing anything right now on the internet except for buying airfare, downloading coupons, “liking” The Muppets’ facetube page, or perusing Skyrim walk-throughs. I suppose the only other thing to be doing is talking about no one doing anything on the internet.

I mean, there’s always the news!

I think it would be fun to run a newspaper.
We could be totally hip and offer travel advice, or create merchandise and summarily slash prices on said merchandise (but who would buy a pewter Dog Mic Astroman miniature, even at 70% off?), or give The Muppets a full review (Scott, where are we on that) or give Skyrim a full review (Scott, where are we on that), or at least link to better websites.
Now that I think of it, we need more characters in the Dog Mic universe. I mean, look how many forking characters McDonald’s has! And that doesn’t even include the characters they cut. We need at least enough Dog Mic characters for limited edition Monopoly and Chess and Risk sets.
And I’m not sure Astroman is the most creative name we could come up with for Astroman.

2 thoughts on “The Silence of the Turkeys

  1. I don’t think it’s wise to attempt a full review of Skyrim. I may put up a few thoughts after several more hours of play, though.

    I didn’t see The Muppets. I probably won’t, now.

    Can we do “Man and Astroman”?

    More Human than Astroman?

    Can I draw a straight line and call it the profile of a stick figure?

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